So last week while I was reeling from Angel’s death, I got the most bizarre set of phone messages from some guy whose number originated from New York City. Clearly he thought he was calling someone else…but he just as clearly didn’t listen to my outgoing message, since he still thought my number belonged to the woman he was calling.
I’m not sure I can do the messages justice with too much storytelling, so I am posting them here (with accompanying transcripts because it took me a while to decipher what the heck he was saying in most of these messages!). I am so glad I kept all the messages.
Feel free to leave feedback in the comment section if you think I’ve made a mistake in the transcription. Some of it was really hard to understand.
Also, before I begin, I want to acknowledge that a lot of the content in these messages sound like illicit activity of one sort or another is going on here. For the record, I am but an innocent bystander in all this, caught in some crossed wires somewhere, and, well, if these people were stupid enough to leave suspicious messages on some random person’s phone, then I really don’t feel bad posting it.
6/2/2010 3:00 AM
[audio:http://www.supermaren.com/Audio/2010-06-02_0300.mp3]Good morning, what’s up? Give me a call, little mama. I want to spend some money, little mama. You always do me hard. All right.
I thought that message was a fluke, but the next evening, Wrong Number Guy left another message for his “little mama.”
6/3/2010 12:17 AM
[audio:http://www.supermaren.com/Audio/2010-06-03_0017.mp3]Give me a call. All right? I’m in the bar. Give me a call. All right.
It’s at this point that my imagination started kicking in. What was happening between these two? I think he was starting to get frustrated. He called this woman, waited for her at the bar, and she never showed up. It’s the next morning, and maybe he’s thinking she’s playing mind games with him, so he starts playing hard to get with her?
N.B. – this is also one of the more difficult messages to transcribe. I’m not really sure he’s very awake when leaving this message.
6/3/2010 9:05 AM
[audio:http://www.supermaren.com/Audio/2010-06-03_0905.mp3]Man, no more, you might have to wait a couple of days. Because last night, I did ______ you ain’t come, you ain’t come. So I gave it back. You know what I’m saying? I don’t want her to know my business either. And she gonna be _______ing at you, man. So, just give me a couple of days, and I’ll have something for you on the side. All right? All right, I’ll pay you something _______ off. I’m going to get something nice ______ put aside or something. All right.
Clearly the radio silence started getting to him throughout the day, because that evening he left a flurry of messages, all while I was in a three-hour rehearsal. I checked my messages at the end of the rehearsal, and there were eight messages on my phone!
Coming up: what happens when I don’t return messages that aren’t meant for me.
OMG! I’m just now getting a chance to catch up on your blog and I have come across the chronicles of wrong number guy and I about laughed my butt off hearing one of the later posted Podcasts – little did I know you had a bunch of these! I have waited until I have my coffee ready to go so I can then proceed to shoot it out of my mouth when I laugh. So funny!