It had been several days since Wrong Number Guy called me, but just when I thought he had finally deleted my number from his phone, he called again.
I was surprised he left a message, though; since that last conversation, he has been pretty good about listening to my outgoing message to see if it’s me or his “little mama,” but I guess he was too high this time to pay attention to the outgoing message. He clearly wasn’t even paying enough attention to hang up the phone.
6/18/2010 3:03 PM
Hey, give me a call, baby. Bye-bye. [More extraneous noise because the idiot forgot to hang up his phone AGAIN]
I almost deleted this message from my phone because it wasn’t interesting enough to blog about, but then this morning, I woke up to find that I had gotten a call and a text from Wrong Number Guy! He’s never texted me before; and the text simply said “call me.” I saw that Wrong Number Guy had left a message, though, and when I listened to it, my jaw dropped.
6/20/2010 12:03 AM
I guess Dre told you, don’t pick up the phone because he left his phone in the house with his wife. I guess that’s why you’re not picking up your phone. But you could call the phone back; that’s me texting you to call me back. I don’t have nothing to do with you; I just want to know what’s going on. Because, you know what? I’m not going to let him come down there and pay your bills. He got bills up here. He’s going to pay these bills. He’s going to take care of me — and my child.
Holy moly. Wrong Number Guy has gotten himself into whole mess of trouble, hasn’t he? I kind of want to call back Mrs. Wrong Number Guy and tell her that she needs to say that to the real homewrecker, but I am VERY sure I don’t want to get in the middle of it.
I think I have also figured out why he keeps calling me. I believe when he first programmed this girl’s number into his phone, he put in the wrong digits, so when he selects “Little Mama” from his address book, it rings my phone. If he just returns Little Mama’s call right away, he gets the right number. But if he’s too stupid to leave his phone at home with his wife, I am quite sure he doesn’t have the intelligence quotient to reprogram his phone with the right number.
All stories have a moral, and I think this one has several:
- If you’re going to call your skank on the side, listen to the outgoing message and make sure it’s the right skank.
- If you have called the wrong number, make sure to edit your address book so that your skank’s real number is in there…otherwise she’ll get pissed when you don’t call her back!
- If you are going to go visit your skank, don’t forget to bring your phone, because otherwise your wife will find your skank’s number on there. And then there will be blood.
- When you call anyone — skank or no — don’t forget to hang up after you’ve left your message!
This has been a public service announcement.