Category: Wedding

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Ohana (Family)

Me, age 7-8 (?) in the yard of the Honolulu house

For as long as I can remember, I have looked forward to visits to Hawaii.

When I was little, my mother and I would get on a plane to Honolulu almost every summer for family reunions. She and her four sisters grew up in Hawaii, and my grandfather still lived there, so we always had a place to stay. Sometimes all my aunts and cousins would show up at once, but most of the time, each family unit would have overlapping vacations so that there wasn’t too much chaos at my grandfather’s house.

Even then, I remember the sleeping arrangements becoming more and more creative, what with three generations sleeping under one roof: there were two guest bedrooms, a basement apartment (which always smelled like mildew), the living room, a two guest rooms down the road at the Friends Meeting House (available at reasonable rates for our family, as we were Friends), and a tent in the backyard. I remember my cousins (all boys) vying for tent privileges; sleeping outdoors in the middle of Hawaii is not a bad way to spend your vacation, let me tell you!

My grandfather (we all called him “Gung-Gung”) had an amazing garden, resplendent with as many fruit trees as he could get away with on the property. A plentiful harvest of bananas, starfruit, guavas, mangos, and even breadfruit graced the table every morning. He also had macadamia trees, the nuts of which he would harvest, peel, and roast all year long. Our Christmas packages always included a jar of his very own macadamia nuts.

The best part about vacationing in Hawaii with our family is that we knew all the local hangouts. We would forgo the tourist-laden beaches of Waikiki and instead hop in the truck to Ala Moana. If we wanted to snorkel, we’d go to Hanauma Bay (this was before it was well-known; I thought it was our own little secret).

Invariably, we would all take a day trip to go to the North Shore. We would always stop at Matsumoto’s for a shave ice on our way to the Haleiwa house. Gung-Gung had built this one-bedroom house all by himself, and from time to time he rented it out. At the time that he had purchased the land, everything around it had been owned by C&H, and I remember driving through a forest of sugarcane to get to a house on stilts proudly standing in the middle of a rectangular area of cleared land.

Sam (but I knew him as "Gung-Gung")

Gung-Gung was fearless. I remember one time we were driving down the highway, and he spotted some ripe coconuts on a palm tree near the road. He directed my uncle to pull over, and my cousins and I watched in disbelief as he shimmied up the tree to retrieve the coconuts. His legs were cut from the rough bark, but he had the biggest smile on his face as he held up his trophies.

Now Gung-Gung is gone; he passed away in 2003 from Alzheimer’s Disease. My mother had moved to Honolulu a few years earlier to help take care of him, and now she is the new resident local family member. She lives in the Haleiwa house that Gung-Gung built, and she always encourages us to come visit as much as possible!

My cousin Sam, in the same yard that I posed in almost 30 years prior.

When I got married in Hawaii, the trip ended up being a three-generation affair once more. My cousin’s daughter (named Sam after Gung-Gung) was one of my flower girls, and her grandmother (my aunt, who she calls “Po-Po”) was also there. Everybody stayed in neighboring bungalows on the beach, and that large extended-family comfortableness that I recalled from my childhood was back, just as I wanted.

I think there is something very magical about Hawaii, especially where my family is concerned. I know my husband loves Hawaii (“Everything moves at my pace,” he says), so the only discussion we have about vacation spots is where in Hawaii we want to visit next. If/when we ever have any children, there is no question we will be making family trips out there regularly so my kids can be infused with that same magic.

This week’s Indie Ink Writing Challenge came from Tara, who gave me this prompt:

A three-generation family vacation.

I challenged xtinabosco, who will answer her prompt by the end of the week here.

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Linen

Today is my wedding anniversary. I’ve been married for four years, and it seems like only yesterday we were in Hawaii exchanging vows in front of our friends and family (and the curious peacock who decided to wander in during the ceremony).

My husband gave me some fun and silly gifts (like brains in a jar and TARDIS soap to name just a couple items), because we don’t really think the whole “traditional” Linen Anniversary is our cup of tea.

Of course I didn’t get anything for him, which I suppose makes me a very bad wife. I played with the idea of writing a poem for him, but A) I’m not a very good poet, and B) I have a feeling he wouldn’t like it too much if I got all mushy about him online. I did write him into this week’s Indie Ink Writing Challenge, and he knows that as long as we’re together, we could be saving the world or even ruling it (he’s working on that one).

So suffice to say I’m very happy to be married to you, my dear, and I think I’ll stick around for more.

(Today is also the 9th wedding anniversary of my best friend, Terry, who graciously allowed me to share her special day.)

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Getting Crafty

So I made a new friend over the past couple weeks. She’s a new addition to The Crossing, and she is fantastic! We have tons of things in common, especially the fact that we both really like to play with arts and crafts.

Anyway, she’s got this blog, and I’ve been following it and marveling at all the stamps she makes, when I realized that I make stuff like that too! Only I did a whole lot of it for my wedding, and then I stopped because I got busy…like I always do.

I showed her a project I did for my wedding last year, and she really liked it. She said she’d post it on her blog, so I said I’d put the template up on my blog for any of you who might want to do this project yourself.

This project is a wedding program that I turned into a fan (I originally got the idea because I knew it was going to be hot out there in Hawaii, and I thought, “Hey, let me stick the program on a Popsicle stick, and then folks can fan themselves during the ceremony.” But the more I worked on it and researched it, the more I liked the idea of a folding fan with panels. So I modified a template that I found on DIYBride and played around with it on Adobe Photoshop until I could get the right width and angles. It was actually tricky coming up with something that was thin enough to fold down and wide enough to hold all of the text.

Here is one panel:
(click on the picture to get the JPG itself; right-click to save to your computer)

I then played around in Quark Express and figured out a way to fit three panels on an 8.5″ x 11″ sheet of paper so that I could print it out on my printer. The font I used is Aramis, which is a free font.

This is the Quark file.

Once I printed it out on card stock (it’s been a year since I did this, so I can’t remember what weight I used! I do know the thickest weight will not go through a standard inkjet, so go at least one step down), my husband and I went through the arduous task of cutting the panels out and arranging them in order (as a side note, I didn’t think this was going to take very long…after all, we only had 35 guests! But I didn’t take into consideration that each fan had 9 panels each, so there was a lot more cutting going on in front of the TV than I’d care to admit).

We punched a hole in the bottom of each panel and then used a brad to attach all 9 panels together. We originally tried to use a grommet, but all that did was hold the pieces so tightly together that they didn’t move at all. So the next best thing was a brad, and we also threaded a little ribbon through the hole as well so our guests could swing them daintily from their wrists, if they so desired.

So there you are! Have fun.

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The Reception in NJ

When we got back to NJ, we had a week to prepare for the reception. I was still riding on the high from the honeymoon, so I was totally laid back for our final meeting with the caterer. The NJ caterer was much more organized than the Hawaii caterer, I can tell you that!

(quick side note as an illustration: the NJ caterer sent a finalized contract, complete with bridal checklist and insurance liability waivers for our DJ and photographer a full month before the event; on the other hand, I had to hunt the Hawaii caterer down myself a few weeks before we left to get a final contract, and even then, I never gave her a signed version…it had changed by the time the contract got to me, and my dad is still disputing the bar, which is entirely another story. Suffice to say there was nothing unclear about the way things were run in NJ!)

We didn’t have a whole lot of people from the Hawaii wedding come to NJ (go figure). Just our roommates (of course), my brother, my cousin D. (who was taking pictures), and my MoH, who flew all the way from CA to be there.

On the morning of the reception, I almost had a hissy fit because I didn’t have a schedule written out, until I remembered (when MoH and Ray reminded me) that this was the no-pressure party, and all the hard work is already done. The only things I had to do before the party were: get my hair done and get my makeup done.

Strangely enough, this ended up being more complicated than I had originally planned. About a month beforehand, I had made an appointment at a nice salon to get my hair and makeup done. Unfortunately, while I was in Hawaii, I got a call from my hairdresser telling me that the salon had burned down!!!!!

Luckily, she was now doing business at a place down the street. But they didn’t do makeup, and nobody had any references for me. So MoH and I went to the mall to get our makeup done! And it was so fun!

But it only got complicated when we spent too long at the mall and got to the hair appointment about ten minutes late, and then the hairdresser took a REALLY long time on my hair. Granted, I have longer hair than MoH, but we ended up arriving at the reception venue about five minutes before the cocktail hour was about to start, which was nerve-wracking.
Once we arrived at the reception site, in my jeans and button-down shirt, full makeup and hair-do (including veil), there was no need to announce to the waitstaff who I was. They went into full serving mode, and they ushered me into the bridal suite. There was a HUGE bathroom as well as a couch and a vanity with a big mirror. MoH and I took turns admiring how big the bathroom was…we agreed you could fit a bed in there.

But I digress. I quickly got into my wedding dress, and one of the waitstaff announced that she was the head table waiter, so she was basically assigned to serving us specifically. She brought me drinks and hors d’œuvres (since the party had already started with a 1/2 hour of cocktails before dinner). And I was loving it, especially since everyone else around me was taking care of stuff for once!

(By the way, while all of this is going on, I’m getting last minute calls from guests telling me they can’t make it because they were sick. I swear, there must have been a flu epidemic while I was gone. Granted, I’m glad they didn’t come and spread their germs to my guests, but Jeez!)

By the time I was really ready to go, cocktail hour was over, and the guests were being ushered into the banquet area. Ray and I entered, announced for the first time in NJ as Mr. & Mrs.! How exciting! After we did our customary walk-around, we went into our first dance, which we had spent 5 weeks practicing (a totally basic slow rhumba, but still, it was amazing that Ray even agreed to take dancing lessons!).

The rest of the evening was a blur. All I remember is that I didn’t get a chance to say hi to everyone, even though I tried. There was some dancing, but not very much, mostly because nobody really got on the dance floor unless I was on the dance floor (I guess it’s rude to dance if the bride isn’t dancing?). Anyway, there were so many disparate friends there, and I wanted to spend time with everyone, but it just wasn’t meant to be.

I remember cutting the cake was also a lot different from Hawaii. For one thing, it was a better carrot cake (the Hawaii carrot cake was more like a spice cake with carrots in it…not so good). Just like in Hawaii, people gathered around to take pictures, but the best picture we could have gotten was from our friend K. from Ren Faire, who got underneath the head table and took a picture from an angle no one would think of.

After the party was over, Ray and I went to our hotel room (we decided to stay at the nearby hotel so we could hang out with all the out-of-towners). Unfortunately, a lot of the folks we wanted to hang out with were at the other hotel down the road, and they didn’t want to come to our room. But we did hang out with MoH, my cousin D., two friends from Ren Faire, and two of my singer friends (who had a concert that night, so they ended up missing the party, but they showed up at the hotel for the after-party). We had a whole lot of excitement when the people across the hall (who were having their own after-party from a different wedding) kept accidentally coming into our room. Boy, we thought we were drunk; they were BOMBED! It was hilarious!

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The Day After the Wedding

So the day after the awesome wedding, my high school friends and I had planned to go swimming with sharks. I know, I’m insane in the membrane, and when I asked Ray to come with us, he just laughed.

But we went, and I was a little scared, understandably. However, once we got on the boat, I had committed myself to the activity, so I just made up my mind to have fun.

And it was so much fun! The bumpy, speeding boat ride over choppy waters out to the cage 3 miles offshore was fun. Waiting for our turn in the cage was exciting, because we got to see an Iwa bird (a frigate bird) come by and snatch a fish right out of this girl’s mouth.

Now, the only thing that was partially scary was that when I was climbing down the ladder into the cage, a big swell hit the boat, and I lost my footing. I was hanging onto the side of the boat for dear life, sort of swinging out, half over the cage and half over open water.

Of course this all happened in a few seconds’ time, and the captain quickly grabbed me and pulled me to safety. I then continued down the ladder, refusing to let it bother me, and after the captain ascertained I was okay, the boat pulled away from the cage.

It took me a couple minutes to acclimate myself. The water was nice and warm, which was good. And as soon as I felt comfortable breathing in the snorkel, I just parked myself in one end of the cage and just watched.

And there was nothing scary about the sharks. I mean, I didn’t feel compelled to reach out and pet one (which they tell you not to do anyway, duh), but it was like the aquarium. Well, better than an aquarium, because we were much closer. But I didn’t feel scared, and that was great.

After we got back to shore, I called Ray, and he met up with us at a shrimp shack on the outskirts of Haleiwa, which only had two things on the menu: shrimp scampi (with extra garlic), and shrimp with hot sauce, complete with a sign that says, “Warning: very hot! No refunds!”

A couple of my friends ordered the shrimp with hot sauce despite the dire warnings, and nearly burned their lips off. I opted for the much safer scampi, and since Ray was ordering it too, I didn’t have to worry about the garlic too much.

After lunch, Ray and I headed back to the bungalows, while my UHS friends did some sight-seeing. One of my flower girls, my cousin Samantha, turned 3 the day after the wedding, and her parents (my cousin and his wife) threw her a party on the beach (basically with all the leftovers from the rehearsal BBQ).

The party was lots of fun, and it was great to see Samantha get along so well with my MoH’s daughter, Camille (my other flower girl). They’re about 6 months apart, and they were best friends by the time the weekend was over.

The next day (Monday) was my aunt R.’s 65th birthday (we picked quite a weekend, didn’t we?). So all the family on my mom’s side went to the swanky resort on the North Shore called Turtle Bay resort to have lunch. Lunch was good, but for the prices they charged, I wasn’t really impressed. In fact, both Ray and I agreed that although Turtle Bay seems to have all the luxury one could ever want, we would much rather be in the real earthy world of Haleiwa and the North Shore, with all its grit and personality. Everyone had a good time, however, and they took lots of pictures of my mom and all her sisters (except for one sister who couldn’t make it).

After that, everyone kind of went their own separate ways. A bunch of my high school friends stayed a few more nights in Waikiki before returning home. My dad went to the other islands to visit Peace Corps friends. So Ray and I were left in peace to enjoy the North Shore by ourselves for a super relaxing honeymoon.

Anyway, the rest of the trip was awesome, but pretty relaxing, so no stories to tell there. The next post will be about the NJ reception.

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The Day of the Wedding

So a month and a half later, I’ve finally cleared off my desk enough that I can get back to the wedding story. I told you what happened the day before, but now I’ll let you have a peek into the day of the wedding, from Bridezilla’s point of view.

The morning of the big day started out fine. I hadn’t scheduled anything until 10 AM (breakfast), but because I was still jet-lagged, I woke up around 5 AM, much to Ray’s chagrin (he actually can’t complain, though, because he was just as awake as I was). So we lazed about for a few hours before really getting up and having breakfast at 8, and I was psyched to be ahead of schedule.

I had just gotten out of the shower when my MoH arrived at the bungalows. She was on the phone with Jan, who was at the flower shop in Honolulu, and there was some problem with some of the flowers (they had supplied one haku lei and one boutonniere instead of two haku leis for the two flower girls). I handled it pretty quickly, wrapped in a towel and dripping, basically telling Jan that if they don’t have two haku leis, then I don’t want just one, and they have to refund me the money. Somehow, another haku lei (albeit not the same color) magically appeared! Isn’t it funny how that happened?

So the only other snafu of the day was the weather. We should have known when we decided to get married in a rainforest that it would rain. Actually, we did know, which is why we had the Butterfly Pavilion as a backup plan.

The ceremony went by in a blur to me. I kept trying to hold onto all these memories, and they are still all there, but it’s so hard to put into words. My mom ended up playing “O Promise Me” on the violin while we did the lei exchange. A peacock walked into the middle of the Butterfly Pavilion during the ceremony. And the flower girls had so much fun dropping flowers they decided to follow me and Ray after we went down the aisle, dropping more flowers.

By the time the ceremony was over, the sun came out, although there were intermittent showers. It was a Hawaiian blessing, the officiant told us. Also, one of the butterflies we released ended up on my bouquet, so there were lots of pictures of my bouquet with the butterfly.

At the reception in Hawaii, which was also at Waimea Falls, just at their catering area (the Pikake Pavilion), my dad decided to surprise me with a band. We had planned on not having any DJ or anything, just a bunch of MP3s playing, you know, to save money. But my dad went and hired a band, unbeknownst to me or Ray, and I was totally shocked. I actually think it was the best gift he could have given me, though, because while he was totally nervous around my mom’s family, as soon as he stepped up to the mic and started playing and singing with the band, he was totally cool and comfortable. Everybody loved him, and everyone loved the band, too. I even sang a few songs, as did my brother Mike!

So both the day and evening were a success. I was really happy, and I couldn’t have asked for a better day, rain and all.

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What Happened the Day Before the Wedding

So for those of you who didn’t go to Hawaii (or for those of you who did go and have forgotten about it already), I’ll start with the adventures before the wedding. I’ll spare you the little details of a bride going crazy (those stories are a dime a dozen anyway), but I will tell you that I was one of those neurotic, overplanning brides (for those of you who know me, that shouldn’t come as a shock at all), and I had even put together a database complete with a schedule of who is going to do what. The master list, printed out as a report, was about 28 pages, and I also had a secondary list that separated out the tasks by person, so each person only got about 1-2 pages.

Of course, since as my friend Grant put it to me, “Weddings are a series of catastrophes strung together,” the first catastrophe started when my in-laws decided not to go by the schedule. Now, they don’t know me very well, so I can kind of see how they would think this isn’t such a big deal. But it was, and it got me hopping mad on the day of my wedding rehearsal.

We all arrived, according to schedule, at the front of Waimea Falls Park at 11:15 AM, and it was pouring rain. Our wedding coordinator suggested we rehearse in the Butterfly Pavilion, our plan B in case of rain. I said, “Great, let’s go. Is everybody here?” We quickly realized that Ray’s parents weren’t there, and we then spent the next half hour trying to find them (calling the bungalows, trying to reach someone else at the bungalows), all of which was very hard because there’s not very much cell service at Waimea Falls.

Finally, when I’m about to say, “Okay, you know what? Let’s just do it without them,” one of the women working the front desk pipes up that she saw an elderly couple come in at about 10:30 and make their way to the Upper Meadow.

I then make the executive decision that we’re all going to go to the Butterfly Pavilion while Ray and the wedding coordinator get in the truck and drive to the Upper Meadow to get Ray’s parents. Of course, not five minutes have passed when who should come ambling down the hill in the rain? RAY’S PARENTS.

Oy. I could have torn my hair out. I should have figured that of all the people to not follow the schedule, it would be Ray’s parents, because A) they don’t realize how anal I actually am about schedules, and B) they always show up early when they’re not supposed to.

But all’s well that ends well. Ray returned with the wedding coordinator, we started the rehearsal (an hour late), and ran through everything without incident.

We then went back to the bungalows for our rehearsal BBQ (Ray didn’t want to have a rehearsal dinner; instead he thought just throwing some burgers on the grill would be sufficient).