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Ono Kine

You see a lot of that phrase in Hawaii, particularly in menus or guidebooks: “ono kine” is a Pidgin phrase that roughly translates to “the most delicious thing.” Much like the fish taco stands in Kauai, restaurateurs tend to exaggerate how good their food is.

I’m a foodie (read: food snob), so it takes a lot to actually impress me. Not that I don’t like a little greasy spoon now and then, but when I’m on vacation, I pay particular attention to my meals because I’m there to enjoy myself, not just to avoid starvation.

A few places that we have visited so far that deserve some mention on this blog, for better or worse:

 The trip isn’t over yet, so I might have to do a sequel post…but I think 6 reviews is plenty for now.

Charley’s Restaurant and Saloon (Paia)

We ate here for dinner on our first evening in town, since we had not yet bought provisions and were hungry. At first glance, this was a dive bar, complete with questionable live music from a Dave Matthews wanna-be blaring from the interior of the establishment. But we went in, mostly because it was the closest restaurant that was open.

  At our request, our host seated us as far away from the stage and speakers as possible, which also happened to be in the rather incongruous sushi bar portion of the restaurant. Curious, I tried the sushi, while Ray went with the ribs off the traditional menu. Surprisingly, the sushi was very well prepared (the sushi chefs, 10 feet away from us, took their jobs very seriously), as was the kombucha they offered (brewed in house, according to our host). I would not have expected such a gritty establishment to have such nuance and sophistication, but, as our host put it, “That’s Maui for you.”

We also visited for breakfast, which was only notable because their pancakes are as big as the plate, and certainly bigger than your face.

Flatbread (Paia)

We were advised to go to this place at least once, but actually we have eaten there twice (and might go a third time, if I have anything to do with it). The flatbread (really, it’s pizza, just prepared more like they do it in Italy) is baked in a clay oven, rather than brick. They use local ingredients wherever they can, and 10% of the profits go to a local charity. What’s not to love? Oh, also, EVERYTHING ON THE MENU IS DELICIOUS.

At peak tourist season, you can do a little celebrity-spotting here, apparently. We didn’t see anyone famous, but maybe that’s because I was too focused on how yummy my food was.

Kula Lodge (Kula)

I highly recommend visiting this place on the way to or from the summit at Haleakalā. Not only is it a good halfway point for those weary of driving the winding roads, but the food is always good, and the views are spectacular.
  

Maui Brewing Co.(Kahana)

 The last time we were in Maui, this place was fairly new. Back then, it had a trendy, up-and-coming atmosphere full of excitement. Now, the luster seems to have worn off, and the brewpub seems more like a chain restaurant catering to the resort crowd than local-brew-made-good. Maybe I’m too much of a romantic, but I’m much more likely to favor the spunky upstart craft breweries rather than the ones who cater to the lowest common denominator.

Our experience was also colored by the fact that our server was not very knowledgable about the beers at all. He couldn’t answer some of our most basic questions, and hadn’t even tried all of the beers on tap. So, that definitely left a bad taste in my mouth. The beer is still good; the food, less so.

Mama’s Fish House (Paia)

  
This one is a splurge, but it’s worth it. The fine dining experience starts after you drop your car off with the valet, from the secluded cove lined with tiki torches to the friendly and respectful waitstaff. We managed to get a reservation (no mean feat, apparently*), and enjoyed our drinks, meal, and view for as long as we could.

The food was excellently prepared. Serious gourmet stuff. I never liked poi before; now that I have eaten the poi from Mama’s Fish House, I am a poi believer. (Side note: apparently the poi that you get at luaus and other tourist events can be several days old and gets pretty acidic. Maybe that’s why I never liked it).

Some people might look at the prices and say that no food is worth that much money. I say that the price includes not just the food, but the entire experience. And to me, that was worth it.

Also, the dessert. OMG. It doesn’t matter which dessert you get, just get one.

*Pro tip: get a reservation early in the evening (ours was at 4:15 PM on Tuesday) and take two hours to eat so you can watch the sun set. Mid-week also seems to be a pretty good time for walk-ins…as we were leaving around 6:00, a couple drove up, and the hostess at the valet area told them there would be only a 30 minute wait.

Maui Kombucha (Haiku)

 We were turned on to this place by the friendly host at Charley’s. Nestled in the very back of a strip mall (we almost couldn’t find it!), this little hole-in-the-wall has all the energy and gumption a startup beverage company should have. With three taps, the kombucha batches are rotated fairly frequently, and all of them are good. They also serve smoothies and cold-pressed juice, as well as a full raw/vegan menu which I didn’t try. (I’ll be going back, though, so maybe I will try it later).

The owner was friendly and open, with a positive crunchy-granola attitude that fits well in the Paia-Haiku area, and certainly matches the ambience of the shop. Because of strict pasteurization standards for bottling drinks, they don’t bottle and distribute their kombucha outside of Maui, which is a shame…but it’s definitely worth stopping in for some fresh, delicious, healthy probiotics while you’re on the island.

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They call him…Bruce

Bruce is not a mechanic.

He is, in point of fact, a tour guide, hunter, fisherman, father, and long-time resident of Lana’i. But he is definitely not a mechanic, which will be an important fact to keep in mind.

Bruce picked us up at Manelele Harbor, the one and only place on the island that is safe for boats to dock (the rest of the island is lined with cliffs and dangerous reefs). We had signed up for the half-day 4×4 Trekker Tour, and Bruce was the guy driving the 4×4 so that we could navigate the rough dirt roads in relative safety. If you want to drive around in your own Jeep rental for the day, there is that option, too, but we figured it would be easier and safer to have someone show us around who knew something about the island.

Often in the past, when I have expressed some interest in visiting Lana’i, people will say, “There’s not much there.” I suppose that’s true, although having someone who lives and loves the island show me around certainly makes a huge difference in the way I view places.
  
One of the reasons there’s not much to see on Lana’i is that the island’s resources have been depleted over the centuries through various wars, ranchers, and farms. There have been (and continue to be) certain reforestation plans to replenish the water table, but much of the island is basically a desert.

We got to see the Garden of the Gods, the remains of the famous pineapple fields, a haunted ironwood forest, and some spectacular views. However, on our way to Shipwreck Beach, our vehicle broke down (no, the irony is not lost on me), and we had to cut our tour short.

Remember, Bruce is not a mechanic.

When we started hearing a weird scraping sound as he got into a lower gear on the sandy road, there was no way he was going to fix it. Thank goodness we were in a tiny little pocket of the island with cell service (probably from a cell tower on Maui).

We had 20 minutes to kill while waiting for the rescue vehicle, and luckily, we were in a lovely little cove with a gorgeous view of both Maui and Moloka’i.
  
There were even turtles grazing in the shallows (“They must not have seen you, Turtlebane,” the husband quipped).
  
Our rescue vehicle dropped us off in the middle of town (Lana’i City is the only town on Lana’i, because the multi-million-dollar homes on the south side of the island are more a part of the Four Seasons complex, which is owned by Oracle CEO Larry Ellison. He owns 98% of the island). The population of the island is a little over 3,100, and according to Bruce, the unemployment rate is 0%.

Apparently the crime rate is also 0%. This is the old police station and jail. The new police station is right around the corner, and not much bigger.
  

Because our tour got cut short, the owner of the tour company promised us a free taxi ride back to the harbor. Our taxi driver was a talkative guy named Isaac, who told us all about the termite infestations in most of the houses, and stopped at his own house to loan one of his passengers some snorkel gear for the day.

He also talked about how it was good that we were getting on the 4:30 ferry, since there were many days that the wind and weather would actually prevent the 6:00 ferry from leaving the harbor, and in that case, we would have to stay on the island overnight. He did offer his sofa/futon, which, he admitted, is pretty old and janky, or he also had a hammock. The only other place to stay on the island is the Four Seasons, and the lowest rate for a room there is $1,200/night. He joked that he would be happy to let anyone sleep in his hammock for the bargain price of $400.

One of the other taxi passengers who had rented a Jeep for the day piped up and said that the Jeep rental company had told them the same thing about the possibility of the later ferry rides being canceled; the rental company’s solution was to allow their renters to sleep in their Jeep.

The 4:30 ferry was a bit late, but we made it on board. The journey back to Maui was pretty bumpy, but we survived. Thank goodness we didn’t have to sleep in Isaac’s hammock.

  

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The Friendly Island

One of the reasons we wanted to visit Maui again was its proximity to the islands of Moloka’i and Lana’i, both of which are too small for full vacations on their own, but definitely worth a day trip to each.

 The ferry ride from Maui to Molokai started off with ominous warnings from the captain: “It’s a bit windy, so it’ll be a bumpy ride,” and “if you are outside on the upper deck, you will get wet.”

Indeed, it was a bumpy ride, and longer than we expected. Nowhere on the ferry website does it tell you how long the journey takes, because it all depends on the weather and sea conditions. It took us an hour and 45 minutes to get there, but a little over two hours to get back. The body of water between the islands is called the Pailolo Channel (“pai” means “splash,” and “lolo” means “crazy,” so the name literally translates to “Crazy Splash”) because of the wind tunnel that is formed between the West Maui Mountains and Kamakou, the tall mountain on the eastern side of Moloka’i.

Crazy splashes aside, we got a chance to see whales breaching on both sides of the boat, and there was even a bunch of turtles swimming alongside us for a while (I didn’t get a chance to see them, and since the husband has now nicknamed me “Turtlebane,” he says that it’s just as well I didn’t scare them off).

Our tour guides met us at the harbor, and off we went on our guided “Ali’i” tour. A rather surprising first stop was at the coffee shop, but we got a briefing about how the coffee is machine-harvested on Moloka’i because of the terrain, and then we got an opportunity to shop and taste the local coffee (it’s really good, but still not as good as Kona). One of our tour guides sat down and started singing with a local…I couldn’t tell if it was spontaneous or part of the tour, but either way, it was wonderful, and set the mood for a really peaceful day.

The next stop was the R.W. Meyer Sugar Mill and Moloka’i Museum. It was fine, but a little dry, since we had to watch a 12-minute video. Not that the video wasn’t informative — it was! But compared to the other parts of the tour, it felt a little more like a history lesson and less like immersion in the island.

The town of Kalaupapa. There’s a tiny airstrip to fly people in and out of the remote area, but for big items like gas and appliances, the residents have to wait for a barge that only shows up once a year.
Back into the bus we piled, and up the mountain for a stunning view of Kalaupapa, the famous Hansen’s disease colony that was cared for by Father (now Saint) Damien. Several of our tour guides had descendants who lived in that colony, so we got to hear some really personal and touching stories as we looked down on the town below.

We also got a chance to hike up to Phallic Rock, another spiritual spot thought to hold great fertility power. I did take pictures (because why not), but am not going to post them publicly out of respect for those who do consider it a holy place. But the rock is, as one might expect, quite phallic. The hike itself was almost like a walk through an enchanted forest.

  

And the spirits were so alive in the forest that a chicken tried to get onto our bus. I guess he was hitchhiking.

  

 

Beware of the coconut’s ______?
Purdy’s Mac Nut Farm was next on the docket, with a presentation about macadamia nuts from Tuddie Purdy himself. A wild-haired, sun-wrinkled man with a quick tongue and a no-nonsense attitude, Tuddie led us quickly through the life cycle of a macadamia nut and then left us to crack our own nuts so he wouldn’t have to. All his nuts are organically grown and naturally preserved with Hawaiian sea salt. You can order them on his website, but you’ll have to print out a form and send it to him, because he’s too busy growing delicious mac nuts to bother with web design.

  It was finally lunch time, and we stopped at the historic Hotel Molokai (built in the 1920s and has retained its charm) for sandwiches (I got a salad because I asked for a vegetarian option). Another one of our tour guides danced the hula for us as we ate, and she danced with such sincerity and openness that it made me cry.

The rest of the tour was dedicated to Father Damien and the churches he built. They are lovely churches, full of a welcoming spirit. I’m not Catholic, but it was incredibly clear that Father Damien’s teachings of compassion, acceptance, and caretaking has percolated throughout the community. All of our guides certainly radiated that kind of love. I suppose that is why Moloka’i is called the Friendly Island.

Too soon, it was time to return to Maui. The return trip was much more choppy than going to Moloka’i (we were going against the wind), and because we were outside for the fresh air (it helps with the seasickness), we got soaked. Some consolation was that we got to see plenty more whales on the way home.

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Flyin’ Hawaiian

After our adventures ziplining in Kauai, we decided Maui would also be a great place to continue our foray into that level of adventure-tourism. (Watch out, one day we’ll go bungee jumping! You never know!)

  

From all the various zipline tours we could choose (and there are quite a few!), we picked Flyin’ Hawaiian for two reasons: 1) Maui Revealed* liked it the best, and 2) they have the longest zipline on Maui.**

We got up at the crack of dawn (not a problem for me, because I was still coughing from all that sugarcane pollen) and made our way to the Maui Tropical Plantation. The only place that was open was Flyin’ Hawaiian, so we knew we were in the right place. After suiting us up (if you plan on taking this tour, take note: you have to consolidate everything you want to take with you into a small 6″ x 6″ pocket on the zip harness. They will not let you bring your own backpack on the tour), they drove us to the test site where we got our safety speech and an overall briefing about how these particular ziplines work (hint: they were nothing like the ones we experienced in Kauai).

Then it was a bumpy, almost vertical climb via ATV and then by foot to the first zip. I never knew ATVs could climb 60-degree slopes. I’m not entirely sure they are supposed to. But this one did, and it got us there safely, thankfully.

The views were gorgeous. The group was in a good mood. There were a few people who were scared (I remember how I felt in Kauai, so I sympathized!), but everyone was a good sport.

The best part about the tour was the company’s commitment to preserving the ecology of the West Maui Mountains. Previous tours had planted an endangered plant – the Hawaiian hibiscus, or ma’o hau hele – along the hillside, and it was our job to water them and help them grow. The idea is that even if the land is sold again, nobody would be able to tear up the hillsides because of the plant’s protected status. I would have sung to my plant, but my voice was shot.

  
The longest zip, at 3,600 feet (WHAAAAT? Yes, it is that long), was the most exhilarating. I was going so fast (50+ mph) that the wind was pushing at my cheeks and whipping around my sunglasses (thank goodness for eye protection!). I was too chicken to go upside-down on some of the lines, but several of the people in our group weren’t!

At the end of the tour, we went back down the mountain, this time on a UTV (still not sure what the difference is between that and an ATV, but whatevs), and had several heart-stopping moments when it felt like I was perpendicular to the side of the mountain while also being strapped into this metal cage on wheels. Surprisingly, we made it back in one piece, and my allergies started acting up as soon as we went back into the valley. Just another week of breathing all this sugarcane pollen…but I’m still determined to have a good time while I’m here.

*If you ever travel to the Hawaiian islands, I highly recommend the “Hawaii Revealed” guidebooks, particularly their apps, which are incredibly user-friendly and use your phone’s GPS to help you find your way around.
**I was not given any money or free things by either Flyin Hawaiian or Hawaii Revealed for these reviews. This is just my plain, honest opinion of these companies.

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Enter the Dragon

The rest of my mother’s visit went pretty well, although my allergies got so bad during her stay that I lost my voice almost completely. I’m almost positive that it’s the sugarcane pollen that is affecting me, because it’s only when we are in the valley where the sugarcane is grown that I start coughing like a smoker.

My lack of voice didn’t deter us from having fun, though. We visited Dragon’s Teeth, which is at the head of a 3+ mile hike along the Kapalua Coast.

Finding the trailhead is a bit tough, since it’s practically in the middle of a golf course, and the parking lot is tiny. If you can manage to get a parking spot, though, the walk down to the bluff is easy, and as long as you stay on the dry rocks, the footing is sure.

We saw a little tide pool and thought about wading around…

  
But then huge waves came in from nowhere!

Good thing we didn’t go wading. This is why there are always all sorts of warnings saying to be careful near the water. The ocean is incredibly unpredictable. Dragon’s teeth, indeed.

Ray is using his flip-flops to defend us from the ocean.

Dragon’s Teeth isn’t all Sturm und Drang, though. We also found a rather large labyrinth and walked all the way to the middle. Several other tourists joined us, although one woman had obviously confused labyrinths with mazes and couldn’t figure out why the path didn’t have different options to take. I blame Jim Henson.

I have never walked a labyrinth without going through some sort of introspection. I guess it is just the meditative nature of labyrinths. I also seem compelled to walk labyrinths whenever I find one. I suppose I’m not the only one.

The next day, we walked around the beach town of Paia, where our vacation rental is. The great thing about the location of our house is that we are so close to town and the beach. The bad thing is that it’s right in the middle of sugarcane country, putting my poor respiratory system through the ringer.

Being at the water’s edge helps. The fresh ocean breeze carries with it only the smell of salt.

  

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Needles and Tops

When we picked up my mom at the airport, we decided to go to the part of the island that none of us had ever been: Iao Valley. Most of this part of the island belongs to the National Park Service and/or is uninhabitable because of the steep mountains that jut out of the land like razors. These stone formations are all that is left of a now-extinct volcano, eroded away over hundreds of thousands of years, and the most striking formation of them all is the Iao Needle, a natural landmark taller than the Eiffel Tower.

OK, the idea here was that I would be putting my finger on the top of the Iao Needle, the same way people do with the Eiffel Tower. But it looks like I missed, and I’m just poking poor Iao in its eye.

The trip itself was rather short; we took the easy walks to various lookout points, and stopped to look at the lovely rainforest flora along the way. But it was a good start to the visit, and we settled on taking a longer trip the following day.

Haleakala was next, the highest peak on Maui, and the remains of another ancient volcano (although this one is merely dormant, not extinct), standing over 10,000 feet above sea level. 

We set off in the late morning, with clear skies ahead and hopes for a good view. Unfortunately, we used up all our visibility karma the previous day visiting Iao Valley (that area is purported to be always rainy, so I was happy that it was simply overcast when we arrived). By the time we got to the peak, the fog was rolling in, blown through by trade winds, and the visibility was pretty much nil. I did try to photograph some of the steeper valleys, using the fog as an indication of depth.

There’s a lot out there…you just can’t see any of it…

I also found a boulder that looked like if I got too close it would turn into a golem and then I would have to fight it.

Honestly, though, if it HAD BEEN a golem, it would have beaten the crap out of me. I had no weapons at all, and the only armor I was wearing was a fleece jacket.

We returned to the vacation rental by the beach, and are now planning what kind of mischief we can get into tomorrow.

  

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Jet lagged

I wish I could regale you all with stories of adventure and excitement. I wish I had tons of photos on this, my third day on the island of Maui. Certainly the last time we went to Maui, we had already been on an adventure the very first night.

This trip…well, we’re taking it a bit slower this time around. We have a little bit longer stay, and we are not moving to a different vacation home halfway through the trip like we did last time.

I’ve discovered I’m allergic to something on Maui. I think it might be sugarcane pollen, maybe California grass; I can’t be sure. Whatever it is, it’s being carried around by the strong, strong winds that whip up and down the middle of the island, and I can’t escape it. I started feeling the familiar scratchiness in the back of my throat as soon as we got off the plane, and it’s only escalated from there. Even though I am dosing myself regularly with fexofenadine, the minute the medication wears off, my throat closes up, and I’m miserable again. (I might switch to loratadine in a few days to see if that will work any better!)

A view of the ‘Iao Valley from Paia. See all that sugarcane? I can’t get away from it.

Still, we have done some wandering around, between naps, of course (naps are very important, especially on vacation!). And we’ve gotten to know the town of Paia quite well, with all its traffic and tourists and surfers…and other eccentricities.

Wednesday night we dined at Charley’s Saloon, a rather redneck-looking restaurant at first glance, complete with live guitar music blaring from the inner confines of the establishment. To our surprise, the menu was more diverse than most, boasting not just great red meat, but also world-class sushi and homemade kombucha. Needless to say, both our palates were satisfied at the end of the meal.

Today (Thursday), we ventured over to the resort-laden side of the island, and visited the lovely farm stand that we liked so well from our previous trip. Yes, we saw views, and yes, I took pictures, but my allergies started getting a hold of me as we returned through Central Maui (or, as I like to call it, the Valley of Death), so I couldn’t focus on the beauty as much as I would have liked.

Tomorrow, my mom flies in from Oahu, so we’re sure to have some adventures when she arrives.

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The Way Back

The last time I spent any decent time in Northern California was six years ago, and even then it wasn’t really a vacation. During that trip, I wandered around San Francisco by myself and remembered how much I truly loved that city.

For this visit, I decided to take an afternoon to visit Forest Knolls, the tiny little Hobbiton-type village nestled in San Geronimo Valley where I was born. Technically, Forest Knolls and its three neighboring hamlets are a part of Marin County, but because it is so remote, they are very often overlooked. The residents of this hanging valley prefer it that way.

The husband, who had to go to work, wished me goodspeed, and I set off with a high school friend to visit the house I grew up in. We traveled westward along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard, and each town we passed got smaller and more quaint, until we went through Fairfax, the last bastion of civilization before San Geronimo Valley. Once you get up the windy pass and over the hill, you’re in the sticks, for sure.

I regaled my friend with stories of my childhood, recalling with fondness the Friday nights when my mom and I would stop at the one video store in town, which was also a take-and-bake pizza shop, for a night of movies and pizza. To my surprise, the store still exists and is still open!

When I was a kid, the center of town consisted of the post office, a tiny restaurant called the Two Bird Cafe, a pub, and a corner/general store called The Little Store. I expected, over the course of 25 years, that Forest Knolls would not be immune to the much-bemoaned Bay Area sprawl. I thought for sure there would be at least a traffic light. Instead, only the post office and the bar remain. The Little Store was still standing, but had clearly experienced some terrible flooding damage and was closed permanently.

On our way back to civilization, we passed a sign that said “Two Bird Cafe,” and immediately pulled over to investigate. The restaurant I remember from my youth had relocated one town over, to San Geronimo, but it was definitely the same place! Same furniture, same china, and the same delicious food. I was so happy to know that it had survived.

Our waitress was very kind and answered all my questions about the area. She talked to me about the video/pizza store, and informed me that they were looking to sell, if I wanted to get into the video/pizza business.

Apparently they are looking for a buyer. Hmm.

So that was my trip down memory lane. The rest of my vacation is reserved for making new memories, which is just as it should be.

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An Inspiration Without Expiration

The human voice is a funny thing. We singers are often reminded that our voices can have a shelf life…particularly those of us of the female persuasion, since hormones play a big role in vocal production. Now that I have hit the ripe “old” age of 40, I’m making plans of my own for the day when my voice is no longer as much of an asset as it currently is (hopefully that day is very far away!).  Continue reading “An Inspiration Without Expiration”