You think you know me, but you really don’t.
My name is Ed Yin. I was born right here, in Oklahoma City. I was raised by strict parents who expected a lot from me. I was one of the only Asian kids in my class, and I got ridiculed for the way I looked all through grade school. It was a tough way to grow up, but it made me a better person, a stronger person. And before you ask: no, I don’t speak Chinese. I’m an American. I speak English.
The reason I’m here, in front of this abortion clinic—this house of death—is to tell all of you that I will fight with every fiber of my being any law that allows women to murder their unborn children. I see those folks on the other side of the street waving their “pro-choice” signs, and I say to you: this is not a question of choice. If I choose to do so, I could kill any one of you. I’m a trained EMT. I have plenty of empty syringes in my truck. But I don’t do it, because it would be morally wrong, and nobody, not even those testosterone-riddled she-male freaks over there, would argue with me.
Do you hear them now? They are chanting about rape and incest. Well, I’ll tell you what: there are lots of things that we all have to do, things we have to hide about ourselves, just so that we can peacefully coexist in this society. If a girl was raped by her father, that is certainly a tragedy, no question. But it’s not the fault of that poor baby. That girl can get through it. I think we coddle our citizens too much these days. All of a sudden, everyone has neuroses, and more often than not, these “conditions” are just hypochondriac fantasies created by psychologists to keep themselves in business. We never had problems like this 60 years ago. Back then, if a tragedy like that happened to a girl, she would get through it. She would get stronger. And she would bear that child to term and give it to a loving family if she didn’t want to raise it herself.
You want to talk about ridiculous neuroses that these people are trying to legitimize? Look at homosexuality. I mean, sure, every guy fantasizes about having sex with other men. You just bury that urge, though, way down deep, because it’s not natural. Sex is for procreation, and if you are going to do it, you should do it with someone of the opposite sex, in order to create life. Not to MURDER BABIES LIKE THAT BITCH WALKING TO THE CLINIC RIGHT NOW!
Sorry, where was I?
Ah. I see you guys are ready for me to step down and let someone else speak. Okay. Before I go, I just want to say one more thing.
You may look at me and see a Chinese-American guy in a suit and assume I’m some sort of banker or accountant. I’m not. Here I am at this pro-life rally, so you might assume I came here with my church group. I don’t even have a church. I just know there is a higher power, and that He put me on this earth to save lives. I do that every day at my job, and I’m trying to do the same with those babies right here, right now.
And you may look at those women across the road and think they don’t care about babies at all, and all they care about is their “rights” as women. But maybe they aren’t what they seem, either. Maybe some of them have come to be educated about the abominable acts that this clinic commits. I came here to reach those people. I came here to save lives.
You may think you know me, but you really don’t.
Write something that your exact opposite would write.
I had so much fun with this challenge, because I had to figure out what the exact opposite of me was! I mean, I have so many traits that don’t have exact opposites (what, exactly is the opposite of an opera singer?). I ended up putting together a grid (see below) that would help me figure out what kind of character my exact opposite would be.
Once I had in mind this guy’s likes and dislikes, and the things that made him tick, I had to let it simmer in the back of my mind overnight. And, boy, did I have some crazy dreams last night! But once my mind had really developed Ed’s character (and his name! I did actually dream his name), I was able to write the piece itself pretty quickly.
|Ethnicity||3/4 Caucasian; 1/4 Asian||3/4 Asian; 1/4 Caucasian|
|Religion||Agnostic (with a side of Wiccan)||Gnostic (with a side of Mormon)|
|Politics||Liberal Democrat||Conservative Republican|
|Sports||Zzzz…||Gets scores of every game automatically via text message|
|Entertainment||Geeky/nerdy stuff like Star Wars, Princess Bride, Dr. Who, and anything related to Joss Whedon||Bill O’Reilly, anything on Fox News, anything written by John Grisham|
|Myers-Briggs Personality Type||INFJ||ESTP|
|Profession||freelance opera singer||full-time EMT|